She Thinks My Truck Is Futuristic

[Verse 1] Sold my F-150, went all in on the hype Bought a Cybertruck, now I’m livin’ that life Lookin’ like a wedge from a PS1 game But I promise you, bro, this thing pulls dames Got no mirrors, no bed, no soul Family laughs when I try to tow But it’s got that range, and them laser beams (Though the app just bricked and deleted my dreams) [Chorus] She thinks my truck is futuristic But it’s shaped like a trauma statistic I floor it, it hums, then gives me a code “System Overheated — Please Push Home” Her boyfriend said it’s “alpha as hell” So I flex real hard while it sits and smells It’s chrome, it’s cursed, it’s crypto-realistic She thinks my truck is futuristic [Verse 2] Yeah, the tailgate folds like my 401k And my ego shrinks in broad damn day But it’s got six cameras, none that work And a light bar that just tweets “Buy the dip, jerk” It don’t haul hay but it sure hauls attention Got pulled over just for the suspension My neighbor’s Ram hauls logs and steel Mine… hauls Reddit threads and feels [Chorus] She thinks my truck is futuristic But the ride feels oddly masochistic Can’t please my wife but it pleases nerds At charging stations whisperin’ dirty words My uncle said it “looks insecure” But the frunk’s got room for shame and Coors It’s sleek, it’s sad, and mildly phallic She thinks my truck is futuristic [Bridge] Yeah, it’s got Autopilot — mostly ghosts And the rearview screen just plays TikToks and toasts But it gets the clicks and it gets me seen And I do look hot in a lithium dream My shorts are tight and my hands are small But my cybertruck says I’ve got it all If “it all” means shame and emotional debt And one cupholder that’s always wet [Final Chorus] She thinks my truck is futuristic Like WallStreetBets on bath salts ballistic It don’t tow sh*t and it can’t haul wood But it overcompensates just like it should Her boyfriend said it’s “vaguely cool” So I ride this glitch like a corporate mule It’s bold, it’s dumb, it’s ego-statistic She thinks my truck is futuristic